He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
