Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize