You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize