whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
