I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
