My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
only if we run a train.
done.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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