please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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