this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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