Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
