Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
