it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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