can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
