He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
