you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
