I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
