he shaved USA in his pubs
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
