He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
