marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
In America we eat man semen.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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