dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
