I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
