you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
