just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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