ugly people sure do ruin things
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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