My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize