Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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