People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
