As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
