So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Someone came in the potted fern
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
