You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
