The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
