4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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