That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
farters have to be the big spoon...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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