Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my liver is dry heaving
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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