I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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