i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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