I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
