the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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