ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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