Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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