Soap is not a condiment
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
