I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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