In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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