Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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