U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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