Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
