I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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