A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
