we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
