im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she woke up with a sticky ear
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
