:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
