I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
