I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he thought i was a dude.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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