i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
