Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
one might say we're banned from that church
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
