She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize