ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
