Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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