Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
someone owes me an orgasm
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
