So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
