Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
