omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
