Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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